The Fight for Realness in a Digital-First World

We are all entitled to feel pretty.To feel desired.To feel seen.But where’s the point where we should stop?If that point even exists.There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Each person is unique and must navigate their own path. But in a digital-first world — one that constantly demands us to be pretty, happy, and successful — I’d like to take a moment to share my perspective.I. Beauty Was Never FixedLet’s begin with a little history.Body norms have never been static. They’ve shifted wildly over time and across cultures. In Renaissance Europe, fuller figures were seen as signs of health and wealth. In many African tribal communities today, thinness is perceived as a sign of poverty or weakness, while broader bodies are admired as symbols of vitality and nourishment. In contrast, modern Western standards — amplified and globalized by media — have increasingly favored the lean, youthful, and symmetrical.This tells us something fundamental: beauty is not truth. It is not universal. It is a cultural spell, constantly recast by societal values, economics, and even algorithms.And yet, if you open any social media app or dating profile today, you’ll see an eerily consistent aesthetic: glowing skin, sculpted abs, white smiles, perfect symmetry. A curated version of reality — the highlight reel, not the behind-the-scenes. I can often tell where someone is from — Italy, southern Brazil, Argentina, Portugal — just by how they’ve styled themselves. We all seem to be aiming toward the same mold.It’s no wonder people here in Africa assume I’m Italian.And no wonder I recently mistook my teenage niece for someone else entirely — they all look the same. Same poses. Same filters. Same aesthetic programming.II. The Inevitable DecayBut time doesn’t care about filters.The body changes. Skin wrinkles. Hair thins. Gravity wins.So what do we do then?In this digital-first world, we…